Are still married because you feel passion, he's your best friend, you have, fun, etc... or because you promised to love, honor, and maybe obey as long as you both shall live?
I really want to know. If it is just too personal, comment anonymously.
Thanks.
Gone by Lisa McMann
16 years ago
4 comments:
1. Because I love him. The passion may wax and wane, but I still love him. (That is...when I don't want to kill him.)
2. Because I still believe in the commitment I made. Note the word "still"--for me that means that I happen to believe in mine, right now. But I do not believe the Church's line that it's forever, no matter what. That rule was made up when people died at age 18 in childbirth. Being married for two years is easy (easier?); 50 years, not so much.
3. And even when I've questionned it...and let's be honest, who hasn't?... my kids have always played a role in my thinking. Our marriage is still good for our kids; that's not true of all marriages.
I'm working on an answer that I'll e-mail. Not because it's too personal but because it's so damn long.
some days he's still my best friend, some days he's just a roommate. i'm not sure i remember what it felt like to love him enough to marry him. i pondered the other day 'was he a doormat when i married him, or did i do this to him?' that was a major aha moment. followed promtply by the devastating realization that i really don't need a doormat, i need someone who challenges me to be a better person. *heavy sigh*
i am becoming my mother, and not in just that tired cliched way, but in a way that makes me cringe: i'm turning my husband into my father.
Because he loves me, and I love him. We respect each other- not only in our roles as husband/wife, dad/mom but as individuals. We support and encourage each other. He sacrifices for me and vice versa. And, when I thought we were on the brink of separation and things were ugly, he went to counseling with me (in spite of his strong reservations about doing so) and put forth the necessary effort to help heal our marriage.
Plus, if I ever doubted for a second that he loved and cared for me he made his feelings abundantly clear during my pregnancy/ recovery with XC. From gently prodding me to go on antidepressants after XC was born to letting me sit in his lap and cry irrationally, he was there for me and was my rock when I really needed him.
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